


modesty is not my specialty

by ladyofjotunheim



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Superfamily, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 23:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14147052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofjotunheim/pseuds/ladyofjotunheim
Summary: also titled: the one where tony beats bruce (wayne) in a fight, he's really (not) modest about it, and the superfamily gets (super) annoyed at him.





	modesty is not my specialty

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first marvel fanfiction i've ever written (have mercy on me, please!), stemming from a past-midnight conversation with a friend who also happened to name this work <3 i do hope it's not too confusing ;)

It was not uncharacteristic of Tony Stark to be flashy and extra and a total diva. But perhaps showing up for lunch wearing a dark green Iron Man suit that was decorated with a scale pattern was a bit much.

"Why are you wearing that?" Natasha asked curiously as he flew towards the table the squad was eating at. The green steel suit opened up when he landed in front of it and Tony stepped out, looking far too chipper for merely noon. Or, ever. "Because I can," he replied.

"Never mind that," Clint interjected, "The more important question here is why you're awake at this god-awful hour." Tony sent him his signature bitch glare before moving to take a seat at the table. For once, he looked like the most awake person there.

Eyeing Steve's plate of scrambled eggs and toast, Tony took the liberty of answering the initial question. "If you must know, I was bored and wanted to design a new suit. And I decided on the especially . . . extravagant version you just saw because snakes happen to eat bats." 

A collective groan rose from the group. Tony, looking rather pleased, allowed himself to steal a slice of toast from Steve, who lightheartedly tried to swat his hand away.

"Are you really still going on about that? How long has it been? Four months?" Clint asked exasperatedly.

Bruce looked up from where he was reading The Years of Rice and Salt on a couch across the room. "Twelve days, actually."

Tony swallowed a bite of toast and pointed at Bruce, "See! It's barely been two weeks. Why can't I soak in the glory of defeating the one and only Batman?"

"Because you bring it up every day," Natasha stated bluntly.

"But-"

"Tony." She looked at him, unblinking, and he crammed some toast in his mouth to avoid saying anything to further anger the queen.

 

━

 

"Hey, kid."

Peter was sat at his desk, seemingly working on a tiny project. He looked up at Tony when he went to stand in the doorway, mumbling a quick "Hi" before going back to tinkering.

"What're ya working on?"

"Homework."

"Right," Tony chuckled. "Have you seen Dad recently?"

"He's in the gym."

"Thanks, Spiderling. Do you need any help with your homework?"

"You hate biology," Peter responded with a slight smile.

"I hate Bruce Wayne and I still faced him bravely. Biology is no match for me."

Peter laughed, "Go away, Dad."

 

━

 

Tony found Steve trying to destroy a punchbag in the huge, spacious gym. He found it funny that Steve still hadn't realised they had been modified to be near indestructible, sometimes complaining that he was losing muscle even though it was impossible.

"Bad day?" Tony asked the man who was practically drenched in sweat and looking rather delicious, if he might add.

"Nope," came the response. "I'm just bored."

"I can think of a few better things to do."

"Tony, I am not going to New Jersey to find Batman's secret batcave and challenge him to a fight." Steve stopped punching and turned around, finding Tony only a few steps away.

Tony covered the rest of the distance between them and examined Steve, seemingly deep in thought. "When did you become a mind reader? I thought your power was super strength. Maybe your muscles really are disappearing. Did a witch get to you? Did Loki?"

Steve chuckled in reply and took the other man's hands in his own. "No, Tony. It's just been very easy to figure out what's going to come out of your mouth the past week."

"Two," Tony corrected.

"Even worse."

"Aren't you proud of me for throwing mothballs in the face of the best undercover bat of our time?"

"You threw mothballs at him?"

"Homemade and eco-friendly!"

"What was the point of that?"

"Laughing at his choice of spirit animal?"

"You call yourself iron man and people don't throw fire at you for fun."

"Actually, that has happened before."

"Right. I forgot about that."

"You forgot about the time I once again heroically saved the day and basically adopted a kid?"

"You adopt too many kids, Tony. It's hard to keep track."

"Only two! And besides, speaking of fire, there's somebody in this room who's very hot and needs a shower and somebody else in the room who's also hot and needs a shower and happens to hate wasting water."

"Like that man can't pay for it."

"Are you turning down my wonderful offer, Cap?"

"I'll be up in a few minutes. And Tony?"

"Yes?"

"You should get rid of the green suit. It's ugly."

Tony gasped as he turned and walked away, "How dare you call one of my suits ugly? That's so ironic considering your red, white, and ew closet."

"Shut up, Tony."

"You started it!"

**Author's Note:**

> i personally hate writing with clichés but i always somehow manage to do it. here it was rather fun though :p
> 
> i hope you enjoyed it so some extent!


End file.
